About help, rights, dependency

“My story begins with safety. I was not safe in my own country. That is why I came to the Netherlands. When I arrived here, I did not know how everything worked. I did not know where I could sleep, where I could get food, where I could find my rights, or who could help me. I did not even know immediately that I had to apply for asylum because of my situation.

What are your rights when you are in the Netherlands?

For me, it started with the basics: a safe place to sleep, food, living money, information, protection, and people who take you seriously. But when you are new, you often do not know where to begin. You look everywhere for people who can help.

People who helped me

At a certain point, I met people who helped me find my rights. First, these were friends who had been in the Netherlands longer than I had. They referred me to an NGO where I could get information.vOther organisations guided me further and also gave me shelter. Some organisations had a clear purpose. They knew what their task was. They provided information, guidance, shelter or support. That went well.

But not all organisations work that way.

Where it goes wrong

Where things went wrong was with organisations without a clear purpose. Organisations that do not make clear what they do, who they work for, who is responsible, and what rules of conduct apply.

Some organisations say they help people, but they also use people. They ask you to do personal tasks, such as cleaning, tidying up, or moving heavy things. This is then presented as volunteer work, solidarity, or responsibility within the organisation.

But the question is: who are you doing that work for?

If the work fits the purpose of the organisation, and everyone works together fairly, then it can be cooperation. But if the work mainly serves the personal interests of an official, volunteer or member of the organisation, then it becomes something else. Then it moves towards exploitation.

Especially when there is psychological pressure. When you are made to feel that you have to be grateful because they are helping you. When you are afraid that the help will stop if you say no. When people use their position to make you do something that has nothing to do with the organisation.

Then it is no longer help. Then it is power.

From standing beside you to standing above you

Many organisations begin from moral outrage. People want to do something against injustice. They want to stand beside refugees and undocumented people.

But sometimes that changes.

At a certain point, they are no longer standing beside you, but above you. They manage the money. They decide who is allowed to participate. They speak on your behalf. They receive the subsidies. They go to the meetings. They go on holiday. You remain dependent. You are still on the street.

Then it feels as if people are saying: we help you, so you must be grateful.

But if money is being applied for with our stories, our presence, our pain and our dreams, then it is not fair if we receive nothing. It is not fair if we are only allowed to clean up, sweep, carry heavy things, or be present for the photo.

You go on holiday with our money.

The line between volunteer work and exploitation.

The core question is not only who has the power.

The core question is also: what is the nature of the relationship?

If the work contributes to the shared purpose of the organisation, and if everyone contributes fairly, then it is cooperation.

But if the work mainly serves personal interests, and if someone pressures you because you depend on help, shelter, papers, information or contacts, then it is exploitation.

A good question is:

“How does this request relate to the purpose of the organisation, or to the role I signed up for?”

If someone asks you to clean, move things, or do private errands, you are allowed to ask:

“Is this part of my volunteer work?”
“Is everyone being asked to do this?”
“Will I be paid for this?”
“What happens if I say no?”

The same rules must apply to everyone. If the people with power would not do this work for free for someone else, then it is not fair to ask it from you.

Why this must change

This must change because we live in a country of law and justice. A country where equality matters. People without residence papers and refugees are not less human. They must not be made smaller because they need help.

You want people around you who see you as a human being. Not as someone to pity. Not as someone who must be grateful for everything. Not as someone who can be used because they are vulnerable.

You are much bigger than the way you are sometimes treated.

I realised what was happening

At a certain point, I realised what was happening. I saw the pattern. I saw the difference between real support and dependency. I saw how some people gained power over others. I saw how help sometimes became control.

And now, organisations are closing. Holiday starts. We are still on the streets.

I have a residence permit. I changed from someone who seeks protection into someone who can also offer protection, information and support to others. Not disappearing into dependency, but growing towards self-determination.

We are not your project.
We are human beings.
We know.
And if we carry the dream, we also know how to build our own organisations, help desks and businesses.

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